Why I Quit Corporate

Key Takeaways

• 1The sunk cost fallacy keeps you paying for a life just because you already started, not because you want it.
• 2The arrival fallacy is that empty feeling when you get the thing you chased (like a degree) and realize it's not the prize.
• 3Your boss telling you "When I think you deserve a raise, you'll get one" can be a major reality check.
• 4A core human need is autonomy, the feeling that you are in charge of your own life and choices.
• 5It's okay to leave a career you're good at if you don't actually enjoy it, even if you call it 'the dungeon.'
• 6Your dream isn't a group project. Other people don't have to understand it for you to chase it.
• 7Time will pass anyway. You might as well use it to build something you actually want.

My boss looked me right in the face and said, "When I think you deserve a raise, you'll get one." I had just finished my degree. I had recovered almost $100,000 for his company. That single sentence was the beginning of the end of my corporate career.

The comment that made me quit my job.

Sometimes a single comment can make everything clear. It’s like a light switch flips on, and you suddenly see a situation for what it really is. For Desi Batista, that moment happened right after she thought she’d done everything right to get ahead in her career.

Desi’s story starts when she was just helping someone out. They needed to create an invoice but didn’t know how. Desi had never used the software before, but she figured it out. While looking through their books, she found something huge: the company was owed almost $100,000 that they had never received. This discovery got her a bookkeeping job offer right on the spot.

She was good at her job, but she wanted more. So, she decided to get her four-year degree in accounting. She thought if she got more education, she would naturally get paid more. So she went to school, studied hard, and put in a lot of late nights. After all that hard work, she finally had her diploma. This was it. She believed this piece of paper was her ticket to a raise.

Feeling proud and ready, Desi walked into her boss's office and asked for the raise she felt she had earned. His response changed everything for her.

"When I think you deserve a raise, you'll get one." Desi said

Desi said she felt her "whole life crack" in that moment. She was confused and felt completely lost. After all the late nights and studying, this was the response she got. She wasn't even angry at first, just incredibly disappointed.

"I did all of that and I get told I don't deserve it? I did all that, all the late nights, all the studying, and this is what I get in return?" Desi said

Standing there, she had another realization that was even bigger. She didn’t even like the job. She admitted that she used to call it "the dungeon" every single morning before work. She was good at it, yes, but she never enjoyed it. Not even once. The boss’s comment wasn't just about a raise. It was about control. It made her see that her future would always be up to someone else.

"...that's the day that I realized or I finally saw it clearly that my pay, my future, my say, all of it was going towards somebody else's decision forever, and I was done." Desi said

That one sentence ended her corporate career in her mind. It wasn't just about being told no. It was about realizing that as long as she stayed, someone else would always be deciding her worth. If you're feeling stuck, it can help to ask yourself a few questions like Desi had to:

• Am I working hard at something I don't even enjoy?
• Is someone else in charge of my future?
• Do I have to ask for permission to live my own life?
• Am I waiting for someone else to tell me my value?

Sometimes the thing you're fighting for isn't the thing you actually want.

How did I even end up in accounting?

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, "How did I even end up here?" Sometimes, we fall into a career or a life path by total accident. That’s exactly what happened to Desi with accounting. It was never the plan. It just sort of happened one step at a time, starting with a single project where she was just trying to help someone out.

It all began when a person she knew needed to create an invoice. They didn't know how to use QuickBooks, and honestly, neither did Desi. But she was good at figuring things out, so she jumped in to see if she could get it working.

I didn't know how to use QuickBooks. I had never used it, but I got the hang of it pretty quickly. Desi said

While she was clicking around and learning the program, she started tallying up all their numbers. As she put the puzzle pieces together, she noticed something big. The person she was helping was owed a lot of money they had never received. A lot of money.

I realized there were, some funds they never received, which amounted to around $100,000. Desi said

Finding $100,000 for someone is a pretty big deal! It’s no surprise that after she did that, they offered her a bookkeeping job on the spot. And at the time, it seemed to make sense. She had always done little business tasks for people, she was good with computers, and she liked numbers. So, she thought, why not?

This is where the "might as well" thinking started. She took the job, and that decision began a chain reaction. It was the first step down a path she didn't actively choose for herself. It was more about convenience than passion.

I thought, sure, that's basically what I do, right? I already do basically what people want of me, bookkeeping. It's really not that big of a difference. I liked money and numbers, so why not, right? Desi said

Once she was working as a bookkeeper, she figured she "might as well" go to college and get a four-year degree to get paid more. But when she looked at the list of majors, nothing really jumped out at her. Nothing made her feel excited. So she just picked what seemed logical. She was already doing bookkeeping and even some tax returns on the side. Accounting just felt like the next step.

Her path into a career she didn't love was built on these small, logical, "might as well" choices.

• She helped someone with their books as a one-time thing.
• She found them a ton of money and got a job offer.
• She decided she "might as well" get a degree to go with the job.
• She majored in accounting because it just "made sense" with what she was already doing.

Desi calls this the "sunk cost trap." It's when you keep going down a path just because you've already put so much time or effort into it. You feel like you can't stop now, or else all that past effort will be wasted. Taking a moment to check in with yourself is really useful. Are you doing something just because you're already there? Or is it taking you where you actually want to go?

Choosing something because "you might as well" can build a whole life you never wanted.

Are you falling for the sunk cost trap?

Have you ever kept watching a really bad movie just because you were already an hour into it? Or maybe you kept eating a meal you didn't like just because you paid for it? We've all been there. You think, "Well, I've already come this far, I might as well finish." This way of thinking is a sneaky little trap, and it can show up in much bigger parts of our lives, like our careers.

Desi Batista found herself in this trap for years. She was good at bookkeeping, so when it came time for college, she just kept going down a path that seemed to make sense on paper. Her college advisor told her to pick a subject she actually wanted to do, but nothing on the list really jumped out at her. So, she chose the "lazy thing," as she calls it. She was already doing bookkeeping and some tax returns, so business administration and accounting just seemed like the next logical step.

It wasn't a big, exciting choice. It was a series of small "might as well" decisions that added up to a whole career she didn't even want.

Every choice was, I'm already doing this. Might as well." Literally, that's what it came down to. Desi said

This is a classic example of something called the sunk cost fallacy. It's a mental trap where you feel like you have to keep doing something just because you've already put time, money, or effort into it. Desi knew the term for it, but she found herself doing it anyway. She was already there, so she kept going.

So you keep going because of what you've already put in. You're already there. You've already invested the years. You've already invested the time. So not because it leads to where you want to go, but because you're already there. Desi said

This trap doesn't just happen with jobs. It creeps into all sorts of decisions. You might see it in:

• Staying in a relationship that isn't working because you've been together for so long.
• Pouring more money into a business idea that is clearly failing.
• Finishing a college degree in a subject you've grown to hate.
• Continuing to read a book you find incredibly boring.

We do this because stopping feels like we're admitting that all the time we spent was a waste. It feels like giving up.

I don't wanna throw away all the time that I've invested in this and give up now. Desi said

So what can you do if you feel stuck in this trap? Desi shared a story about her family asking her if she ever got her CPA license. She told them no, saying it would have taken too much time. Their response made her realize something important. They said if she had started years ago, she would have it by now. The time was going to pass anyway.

You can let the years go by while you stay stuck in a situation you don't like, or you can use that same time to move toward something you actually want. The past investment is already gone. You can't get that time or money back. But you do get to decide what you do with your time from this moment forward.

Just because you’ve spent a lot of time on something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.

The degree was just a reality check.

Have you ever worked really hard for something? You know, you put in the hours, you make the sacrifices, and you finally reach that big goal. And then... it just feels empty. You thought getting the thing would make you happy, but it doesn't.

This exact thing happened to Desi. After getting her bookkeeping job, she figured she might as well get her four-year degree in accounting. It made sense on paper. More education should mean more money, right? She spent years studying, working late nights, and even found her boss almost $100,000 in money he was owed. So when she finally got that diploma, she walked into her boss's office thinking a raise was a sure thing.

He had a different idea. Desi asked for the raise, and her boss told her:

"When I think you deserve a raise, you'll get one." - Desi

Ouch. She said it felt like her whole life just cracked right there. She wasn't mad, at least not at first. She was just completely let down. She felt like all her hard work was for nothing.

"I wasn't even angry at the time. I was just so Disappointed, Like I did all of this for nothing" - Desi

But then, in that moment of disappointment, something else became clear. As she stood there, she realized a much bigger problem. It wasn't just about the raise or her boss. She didn't even like her job. At all.

"I do not like it at all. I was literally calling it the dungeon every morning before I would go in there." - Desi

Psychologists have a name for this letdown feeling. It's called the "arrival fallacy." It’s the trap we fall into when we believe that reaching a certain goal will finally make us happy. You get there, and you find out it was just a destination, not a feeling. Desi explains it as chasing a feeling that never shows up. You think, "'When I finally get here, I'm gonna be happy.' And then you get it, and it's nothing. Just nothing."

This can happen with all sorts of goals we set for ourselves. We often think happiness is waiting for us after we:

• Get the degree
• Land the promotion
• Buy the house
• Find a partner
• Lose the weight

For Desi, that piece of paper wasn't an achievement. It was a wakeup call. She said, "the diploma wasn't the prize. It was just a reality check." It proved she had spent years climbing a ladder that was leaning against the wrong wall.

So what can we do about this? The key is to check in with yourself before you start climbing. Before you chase that next big thing, ask yourself if you truly want it. Don't just do something because it seems like the next logical step. Make sure the goal is actually yours, and not just a "might as well" choice you fell into.

Goals are only worth chasing if you actually want what's on the other side.

I was good at a job I didn't even like.

Have you ever gotten something you worked really hard for, only to feel... nothing? It’s a strange feeling. Desi finished her accounting degree, spent late nights studying, and had even found about $100,000 for her company that they were missing. She thought a raise was the next logical step. So, she finally got the courage to go ask her boss for one.

His response changed everything.

I went and I asked, And my boss goes, "When I think you deserve a raise, you'll get one. Okay? You don't have to ask me."

, Desi

Imagine hearing that after all your hard work. For Desi, it wasn’t just about the money. It was a huge wake up call. She said in that one moment, she felt her whole life crack. She was confused and disappointed. But standing there, after being told "no," she had a much bigger thought. It hit her like a ton of bricks: she didn't even like this job. Not one bit.

She was good at it, sure. She could do the work. But she never actually enjoyed it. In fact, she hated it so much that she had a nickname for her office.

I was literally calling it the dungeon every morning before I would go in there. I would get up and I would be like, "Ugh, I'm going to the dungeon."

, Desi

That feeling of dread every single morning was a huge red flag. She was going to work every day feeling stressed and on edge. She was great at her job, but it was making her miserable. She was chasing a prize, the diploma and the raise, thinking it would finally make her feel happy or successful. But when she got the diploma and was denied the raise, all she felt was empty. It just showed her the truth. Psychologists call this the "arrival fallacy." It’s when you believe that reaching a certain goal will bring you happiness, but when you get there, nothing really changes. The good feeling doesn't last.

For Desi, the diploma wasn't the prize. It was just a reality check.

It was proof that I had climbed the ladder against the wrong wall.

, Desi

It’s easy to get stuck in a job you’re good at, even if you don't like it. You might find yourself in a similar spot if you:

• Get a pit in your stomach when you think about work on Sunday night.
• Do your tasks well but feel drained and empty instead of proud.
• Keep telling yourself that the next promotion or pay raise will finally make it worth it.
• Spend your free time trying to recover from work instead of enjoying your life.

Take a second to think about your own daily life. Are you pushing through a job you secretly can't stand just because you're good at it? It happens to a lot of people. The first step is just noticing it, just like Desi did in that moment in her boss’s office.

Being good at something doesn't mean it’s the right thing for you.

Why do we need to feel in charge of our lives?

Have you ever been forced to do something you didn't really want to do? Maybe it was eating your vegetables as a kid, or joining a sports team you secretly hated. Even if you end up being good at that thing, being forced can make you resent it forever.

Desi tells a perfect story about this. She once heard about a man who went to a party where there was a piano. He sat down and started playing, and it was beautiful. Everyone who knew him was completely shocked. They had no idea he had this amazing talent. When they asked him why he never told them, he said he was forced into piano lessons as a child. He hated it so much that he pretty much never plays anymore.

This story explains a very big idea about being human. There's a psychology term for it called self-determination theory. That sounds fancy, but the idea is simple. We all have a basic need for what's called autonomy.

one of our basic needs is autonomy, feeling like we're the ones choosing our own lives. This is ours, right? Desi said

Autonomy is just the feeling that you are in charge. You are the one choosing your own path and making decisions for your life. When that feeling is gone, we can feel really unhappy, even if everything else seems okay. This is a huge reason Desi felt so awful in her corporate job. She felt like she had zero control. It wasn't just about the work itself. It was about someone else having the final say over her time and her future.

For example, asking for a day off wasn't a simple thing. For Desi, it became a negotiation where she always seemed to lose.

so when I wanted to take my time off, it's "Oh, you can't do these dates because we need you for this." Or, "that day doesn't work for us. I need you to be here." Desi said

How frustrating is that? It felt like her life wasn't really her own. She was losing her sense of control in all sorts of little ways that added up.

• Her boss decided when she would get a raise, not her hard work or her new degree.
• She couldn't take her paid vacation days when she actually wanted to.
• She was expected to stay late just because everyone else did, even if her own work was finished.
• Management would even question her if she was "really sick" when she used a sick day.

When someone else has that much power over your life, it's natural to feel trapped. But Desi makes a really important point. This feeling doesn't automatically mean you have to quit your job and start a business.

You can absolutely get that inside a job you love. Some people do. Many people do. Desi said

The main goal is to find a situation where you feel like you have a choice. For some people, that's a 9-to-5 job with a great boss who respects their time. For others, like Desi, it means building something new for themselves. There's no right or wrong answer, only what's right for you. If you're feeling unhappy or stuck, ask yourself how much control you really have. Recognizing this need for autonomy is the first step toward figuring out what's actually wrong and how to fix it.

Choosing things for yourself is a basic need, not a luxury.

I tried to find an escape route.

Have you ever felt so stuck in a job that you'd grab almost any ladder to climb out? When you’re unhappy, sometimes the first escape plan you come up with seems like the best one. After that awful meeting with her boss, Desi knew she had to leave her accounting job. Her first idea was to get into real estate.

She didn't waste any time. Desi explained that she moved fast because she was just desperate to get out of her situation. She got her real estate license in just a few months, passed the test on her first try, and even started selling houses. On paper, it looked like a success. But the feeling of being in the wrong place didn't go away.

"Sold some houses, and I was like, 'You know what? This is not it either.'" Desi said

Even though she had escaped the accounting "dungeon," she realized this new career wasn't right for her either. She wasn't running to something she loved. She was just running from something she hated. Finding any way out was her only goal.

"And it was just like I was trying to find an escape route. I was trying to just get out of the corporate rat race. I was just like, I don't want this." Desi said

This is a common trap. You can get so focused on leaving a bad situation that you don't stop to think about what you really want next. Desi discovered that she liked real estate, but not from the agent's point of view. She was more interested in being an investor. It was a small change in focus, but it made all the difference. She didn't want to help other people buy and sell. She wanted to build her own portfolio.

It left her feeling confused and frustrated. She had tried two different careers, accounting and real estate, and felt miserable in both.

"And I'm just wondering two paths, both technically fine, both making me feel miserable. Why? Just is something wrong with me? Am I just, am I being too picky?" Desi said

Of course, nothing was wrong with her. She was just learning what she didn't want. If you're thinking about making a big change, it helps to ask yourself a few questions before you leap.

• Am I running away from something or toward something?
• Does this new path fix the real problem, or is it just a distraction?
• Do I enjoy the idea of the daily tasks, not just the title or the money?
• Will this get me closer to the life I actually want to live?

It’s okay if your first attempt to leave a bad job doesn’t work out perfectly. The key is to pay attention to that feeling. Don't force yourself to like something just because it was your escape plan. Seeing what's wrong is the first step to finding what's right.

Sometimes the first escape route you find isn't the right path, but a detour that teaches you where you really want to go.

Going against the grain can be lonely.

Making a big life change is hard enough. It's even harder when the people you love don't understand why you're doing it. When Desi decided to leave her good, stable job in accounting, she felt this big time. She had a degree, a career path, and everything she was "supposed" to have. But she was miserable, and when she tried to change things, it was a lonely road.

When she tried to explain why she was leaving her career, her family just didn't get it. They thought she should be thankful for the job she had worked so hard for. They couldn't see it from her side. Desi remembers what they would say to her back then.

And then it didn't help that my family were also like, "You already worked for this career, you should be grateful. There's so many people that wish they could've have a career like you. you can just get a job"... Desi said

Hearing that from people who care about you is tough. You want their support, but instead, they're telling you to play it safe. They're looking at your life from the outside. They see the steady paycheck and the clear path. They don't feel the dread you feel going to work. They don't know what it's like to be you in that situation. So when you make a choice that looks risky, they get worried and confused. Desi says almost everyone she knows still thinks she's a little bit out there for her choices.

So nobody understood why. Even to this day, everybody thinks I'm crazy. But nobody understood why, and the path to doing what you really want in life can get lonely. Desi said

It can feel really isolating when it seems like no one is on your team. But here’s the thing Desi realized, and it’s a big one. It's okay if they don't get it. She says other people don't need to understand your dream because it isn't for them. She actually saw a creator on TikTok who put it perfectly, and it really stuck with her.

"Nobody needs to understand your dreams because it's not a group project. It's for you, your dreams, yours." Desi said

Thinking about your life like it's not a group project is a really helpful way to look at it. Your dream is yours alone to build. It doesn't mean the people in your life don't love you. It usually means they do love you and are just scared of you getting hurt or failing. But their fear can’t be the reason you stay stuck somewhere that makes you unhappy.

So what can you do when you feel that loneliness creeping in? It helps to have a few reminders in your back pocket. When you feel alone on your path, remember these things:

• It really is your dream, not theirs. They don't have to see the final picture.
• Your friends and family are probably just worried. Their concern comes from a place of love, even if it doesn't sound supportive.
• Find people who do get it. You can look for online groups or local meetups for people with similar goals.
• Their opinion doesn't have to change what you need to do. You're the one who has to live your life every single day.

Your dream doesn't need everyone's approval to be valid.

Your dream isn't a group project.

Making a big change in your life can feel even harder when the people around you don't understand it. When you decide to do something different, it can feel lonely. Desi knows exactly what that's like from her own experience.

After finally deciding to leave her accounting career for good, not everyone was cheering her on. In fact, her family was pretty confused. They saw her walking away from a stable job that she had spent years in school for. From their point of view, it looked like she was throwing away a good thing. They thought they were helping when they told her to be thankful for what she had.

You already worked for this career, you should be grateful. There's so many people that wish they could've have a career like you.

Desi said

Hearing things like that can make you second guess yourself. It's tough when the people who care about you think you're making a huge mistake. Desi admits that choosing a different direction isn't always easy and you might end up feeling like you're on your own.

...the path to doing what you really want in life can get lonely. And it's not just corporate, or leaving corporate. It's just going against how people are normally used to seeing you can create a very lonely path for you...

Desi said

But then, Desi shared an idea she heard from another creator that really helps put things in perspective. It's a simple thought, but it makes so much sense. She explains that it’s okay if other people don’t get it, because they don’t have to.

Nobody needs to understand your dreams because it's not a group project. It's for you, your dreams, yours.

Desi said

Think about that for a second. Your dream isn't a project where you need everyone's input and approval. It’s yours alone. People might not understand because they see things differently. Their concerns usually come from a good place, but they're based on their own views and fears.

Here are a few reasons why people might not get your dream:

• They’re used to you being a certain way.
• They worry about the risks you’re taking.
• They can't picture the final result like you can.
• Your dream doesn't match their definition of a "good" or "safe" life.

It's not your job to convince them. It's not your job to make them see your vision perfectly. You could spend all your energy trying to get everyone on board, or you could use that energy to actually build your dream. The choice is yours. Desi's story shows us that she could have stayed in a career that made her miserable just to make others comfortable, but she chose herself instead.

You don't need their approval, only your own conviction.

You might as well use the time to build your dream.

Have you ever thought about a big change but then told yourself, "Ugh, that would take too long"? It's easy to get stuck thinking about the years it might take to learn a new skill or start a business. But Desi reminds us of a simple truth: that time is going to pass anyway.

She shared a story about visiting her family in New York after her grandmother passed away. For a long time, she had thought about getting her CPA, which is a big license for accountants. Her family asked her about it. She told them she decided not to because it would have taken too much time to finish. What they said next really hit home. They reminded her that they had talked about it years before. If she had started then, she would have her CPA by now. Desi realized they were right.

"So time is going to pass by regardless, And the only difference is gonna be whether you went after the things that you actually wanted for yourself or whether you just did what I did for many years. I might as well, right?" Desi said

Those years went by, whether she was studying for the license or not. It's a tough pill to swallow, but it’s true for all of us. The next three years will pass. The next five years will pass. The only question is what you'll be doing while they do. Will you be in the same spot, wondering what could have been? Or will you be a few steps closer to something you really want, even if you stumble along the way?

Desi said her old real estate coach had a saying for this.

"Fail f- fail forward, fail fast." Desi said

It sounds a little weird, but it just means it's better to try something, mess it up, and learn from it quickly than to do nothing at all. Failing isn't the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is looking back with regret and always wondering "what if." Trying and not succeeding is still a better story than never trying. At least you know you gave it a shot.

If you’re feeling stuck and thinking about making a change, don't let the thought of "how long it will take" stop you.

"So if you're sitting there thinking about leaving, hear me out. Start planning for it now." Desi said

Don't stay just because you've already put in a lot of time. That's the sunk cost trap talking again. Instead, you can start thinking about what you really want. Maybe you want to:

• Start that business you daydream about.
• Leave your current job for one that fits you better.
• Switch careers completely and try something new.
• Get a certification that opens up different doors.
• Finally learn that skill you've been putting off.

The point isn't to quit your job tomorrow with no plan. The point is to use the time that’s passing anyway to build toward your dream. Make a small plan. Take one tiny step. Then another. Because years from now, you'll either have a bunch of excuses or you'll have progress.

Time will pass either way, so you might as well use it to build the life you want.

Listen to the full conversation

That's just a piece of my story. There's a lot more to it, and I share it all in the full episode. If you've ever felt stuck in a job or a life that wasn't yours, this is for you. You can listen to the whole thing wherever you get your podcasts. Just search for Expansion with Desi Batista.